Help for Stay at Home Moms

By Becky

 

      It’s 9:00 in the morning.  Having greeted the day at 6:30am, the baby is going down for a much needed morning nap.  You are in your second outfit of the day. The sweater you pulled on at 6:30 has been added to the heaping pile of laundry, covered in spit up and baby food.   Mashed bananas and rice cereal cover the floor; your preschooler is using them for finger painting, quietly smearing them deeper into the crevices of your beautifully tiled floor. You desperately search for your cup of coffee only to realize that you never got around to making another pot after your husband scooted out the door with his travel tumbler full of the life-giving substance.  Stepping gingerly over your busy preschooler, so as not to ruin his “masterpiece,” you begin the process of making coffee. Suddenly it hits you: Gone are the days of quick trips to Starbucks for a latte and conversation with your girlfriends.  Will they ever return?

      As you stand there, suspended in thought and longing, a smell begins to reach your nostrils and it is not the coffee!  The diaper bag is in the car, and the extra diapers and wipes are in the room where the baby is sleeping.  Debating the lesser of two evils, you slip on your shoes, and quickly dash out to the garage to grab the diaper bag before your preschooler has a separation anxiety fit and begins to howl.   You open the car door and another smell greets you!  Looking for the culprit, you find a half-full sippy cup of milk dripping onto your husband’s beloved car upholstery.  A groan escapes your mouth just as your neighbor is walking out her front door. 

     She looks over and waves her beautifully manicured hand to say hello.  Her smile is outlined with a perfect shade of lipstick.  Her outfit does not have any residue of spit up, snotty noses or excess food particles.  As she slides gracefully into her clean car, she calls out for you to have a nice day.  As you watch her car head down the road, a tear slides down your cheek.  You love your children and your husband, but the days can be so long and exhausting.  There is no one to talk to.  Even if there was someone to talk to, you are not sure you would have anything important to add to the conversation, unless is was about potty training, night feedings, pediatricians, or the like.

     Gone are the days when mothers would chat out in the yard as their children played around them.  Our fast-paced culture does not lend well to getting to know the neighbors around us.  Everyone is busy maintaining his or her own lifestyle.  There is little time left for meaningful relationships.  Extended families no longer live close to one another, so the support that mothers received from family in the past is often non-existent. While the workplace would provide working moms with a ready-made community, the stay at home mom has to work hard to seek it out.  Stay at home moms can often feel isolated and unfulfilled.  It can be difficult to connect with other moms and develop friendships. The sense of accomplishment or purpose often gets lost in the daily grind, and finances are usually tight because of the single income, limiting the options for involvement in activities outside the home. A great solution for this problem is for stay at home moms to join the Champlin MOMS Club.   

     The Champlin MOMS Club is a chapter of the International MOMS Club.  As stated on their web site, MOMS Club is an  “international non-profit organization committed to support the at-home or part-time working mother in the community in which she lives.  We offer support, friendship and fun filled activities for mothers and their children” (http://mommymn.tripod.com). The Champlin MOMS Club is a wonderful way for the stay at home mom to find friendships, support, and purpose. 

     The MOMS Club helps moms connect with other at home moms by hosting monthly meetings.  These meetings include a special speaker and dynamic discussion on topics that are of great interest to moms.  They also have casual gatherings and playgroups that meet in homes or at a local park.  This offers moms an opportunity to build meaningful relationships while the kids play around them.  If a mom is looking for more than just a casual get together she can take advantage of a number of activity groups:  coffee club, walking club, or even a recipe club. This helps moms to connect with others that have like interests. 

     MOMS Club also helps moms and their children to be civic minded.  There are a number of ways to partner with the MOMS Club to support and serve the local community.  One way of doing this is to make and donate “birthday bags” for the local food shelf.  This is a great way to raise awareness in the children of the needs of others and moms find it a rewarding experience. It often fulfills the desire for serving others and can cause moms to find fulfillment in helping others. 

     For some moms it may be overwhelming to even think about getting everyone fed, dressed and out the door to attend MOMS Club.  It might be argued that the time and energy it takes to get involved in MOMS Club is not worth the effort.  However, in talking with the moms who do attend, they will tell you it is definitely worth it and it has offered a much needed oasis in their week.  One mom, who was transplanted to Champlin due to her husband’s job change, found it difficult to meet new friends for herself and her children.   She had no family in the area and felt isolated and lonely as a stay at home mom.  While it was difficult for her to make the effort to attend Club initially, she now has a wonderful connection with other moms on a weekly basis.  Her children have playmates and opportunities for much needed social interaction.

     Another mom, who made the decision to stay home after the birth of her first child, found it difficult to make the transition from the ready-made community in the workplace to the isolation of being home all day. While it was hard for her to organize her morning and get out the door to attend Club, she would now tell you that the morning struggle is well worth it. She takes advantage of the monthly meetings and many of the casual gatherings throughout the month.  Going from a very structured day in the workplace to a day that seemed to have no perimeters was difficult.  MOMS Club has given her structure and the ability to find community outside of the workplace.

     When moms struggle with the isolation of being home all day with small children, one alternative is to decide to go back into the workforce. It is understandable that many families need two incomes to meet the needs of a growing family.  However, if the reason for re-entering the workforce is primarily to offset the sense of isolation, going back to work may not always bring the desired results. While the additional income would benefit the family, the strain and stress of being back in the workforce can be overwhelming and moms may find the added benefits replaced with pure exhaustion. 

     A stay at home mom can feel isolated because it is often hard to connect with other moms, and to find purpose and meaning in the daily routine. By joining the Champlin MOMS Club, moms can find many opportunities to connect with other moms, build friendships, and experience significant ways to serve the community.  I would highly recommend joining the Champlin MOMS Club.